omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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