i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
