Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
