Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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