I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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