Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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