He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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