I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
