i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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