no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
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I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
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Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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