Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
