I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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