Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Randomize
