You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
