So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
