Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
