1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
