There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
