She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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