I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm just crazy horny about you
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
And then he peed in my hair
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