Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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