A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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