a search helicopter?!
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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