This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
