Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
BRING THE BAGELS
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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