There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
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Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
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I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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