I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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