i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I need a burrito and a hug.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
