is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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