have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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