only if we run a train.
done.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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