Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
