and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
