woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
