Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
