I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
