he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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