no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
