ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize