How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
