how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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