You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
