what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
