when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
