I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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