My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
