I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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