he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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