Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
