Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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