i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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