I'm lost and stupid without you.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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