Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Randomize
