At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
