Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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