census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
