I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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