I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just pynch a tree in the face
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
