watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
