Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
